When a baby dies

1You are not alone

The Prophet ﷺ lost children too, and his Companions came to him with the same grief you carry. Allah describes those who, when hardship strikes, say: “We belong to Allah, and to Him we return” (Qurʾān 2:156)². If you can say it, say it, even through tears. If you cannot yet, Allah knows what is in your heart.

When Ibrāhīm died, the Prophet ﷺ said: “He has a wet-nurse in Paradise” (Bukhārī 1382)³. Your baby is cared for.

2What Allah has promised you

Allah says, in a ḥadīth the Prophet ﷺ reported from Him: “My believing servant has no reward with Me, when I take back his dearest one from the people of this world and he bears it hoping for My reward, except Paradise” (Bukhārī 6424)⁴.

The Prophet ﷺ said that there is no Muslim whose three children die before reaching maturity but that Allah brings him into Paradise, by the grace of His mercy to them (Bukhārī 1248, 1381)^5,6. When he told the women that a mother whose three children die will have them as a screen from the Fire, a woman asked, “And two?” He said, “And two” (Bukhārī 1249–1250)⁷. And the promise of the ḥadīth above, for the one whose dearest one is taken, names no number at all⁴.

Abū Hurayrah told a grieving father that the little ones of Paradise meet their parents and take hold of their clothes, and do not let go until Allah brings them into Paradise together (Muslim 2635)⁸. And the Prophet ﷺ asked a father whose little son had died, “Would it not please you that you will not come to any gate of Paradise without finding him there, hurrying to open it for you?” (al-Nasāʾī 1870, graded ṣaḥīḥ by al-Albānī and Ibn Ḥajar)⁹.

There is also the report that when a servant’s child dies and he praises Allah and says “we belong to Allah and to Him we return”, Allah says, “Build for My servant a house in Paradise, and call it the House of Praise” (al-Tirmidhī 1021, graded ḥasan by al-Tirmidhī, al-Albānī and Ibn Ḥajar, though some graded its chain weak)¹⁰.

3What your baby is owed

Your baby has rights, and caring for them now is one way to honour your child. Others will help you with it. The scholars agree that a baby who was born alive is washed and prayed over, like any Muslim¹¹. For a baby who died before birth, what is done depends on how far along the pregnancy was, and the four schools differ on the details¹¹. Giving your baby a name is part of this too¹².

You do not need to work this out alone or tonight. Our sister site, Life Is Temporary, sets out washing, shrouding, naming and the janāzah prayer for each situation in all four schools, with the paperwork¹². Call your imam or your masjid as soon as you can: they will help you with all of it.

1. Call your imam or masjid

   Tell them what has happened and where you are. They will guide the washing, the prayer and the burial with you.

2. Read the full guide when you are ready

   lifeistemporary.com/guides/when-a-child-dies/: a miscarriage, a loss after four months or a stillbirth, a baby who lived even briefly.¹²

3. Ask the hospital for time

   You may ask to hold your baby, to be with them, and for the time you need. You may also ask how the hospital can help you arrange a Muslim burial.

4Help, today

If you carried your baby, your body has been through a great deal, whatever stage the loss came at, and grief can make the weeks after it much harder. Please keep your follow-up appointments, and get care straight away for heavy bleeding, a fever, or pain that will not go away¹³.

If the heaviness lasts more than two weeks, or you feel hopeless, tell your doctor or midwife today. If you have any thought of harming yourself, get help now, not at your next appointment. In the US you can call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline on 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262), free, at any hour¹⁴. If you have thoughts of ending your life, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org; in an emergency, call 911¹⁵. (These are US numbers; elsewhere, call your local emergency or crisis line.)

Muslim and other grief support is listed on lifeistemporary.com/grief-support¹⁶.

Sources

1. Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1303 As his baby son Ibrāhīm was dying, the Prophet’s ﷺ eyes filled with tears. Asked about it, he said: this is mercy. The eye weeps and the heart grieves, and we say only what pleases our Lord; and we are grieving at parting from you, O Ibrāhīm.
2. Qurʾān, al-Baqarah 2:156 Those who, when a hardship strikes them, say: we belong to Allah, and to Him we return.
3. Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1382 Al-Barāʾ: when Ibrāhīm, the Prophet’s ﷺ son, died, he said: he has a wet-nurse in Paradise.
4. Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6424 Abū Hurayrah: the Prophet ﷺ said, Allah says: My believing servant has no reward with Me, when I take back his dearest one from the people of this world and he bears it hoping for My reward, except Paradise.
5. Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1248 Anas: the Prophet ﷺ said, there is no Muslim whose three children die before reaching maturity, but Allah brings him into Paradise by the grace of His mercy to them.
6. Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1381 Anas: any Muslim whose three children die before maturity, Allah brings him into Paradise by the grace of His mercy to them.
7. Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1249–1250 (also 101) Abū Saʿīd: the women asked the Prophet ﷺ for a day of their own. He taught them and said: any woman whose three children die, they will be a screen for her from the Fire. A woman asked: and two? He said: and two. Abū Hurayrah added: who had not reached maturity.
8. Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2635 Abū Ḥassān told Abū Hurayrah that two of his children had died and asked for something to comfort them. He said: their little ones are the little ones of Paradise. One of them meets his father, or his parents, and takes hold of his garment or his hand, and does not let go until Allah brings him and his father into Paradise.
9. Sunan al-Nasāʾī 1870 A man used to bring his little son to the Prophet ﷺ. The boy died, and the Prophet ﷺ said to him: would it not please you that you will not come to any gate of Paradise without finding him there, hurrying to open it for you? Grading: Ṣaḥīḥ: al-Albānī (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Nasāʾī); Darussalam (on sunnah.com); Ibn Ḥajar, “its chain is ṣaḥīḥ” (Fatḥ al-Bārī 3/145); al-Arnaʾūṭ, “its chain is ṣaḥīḥ” (takhrīj of Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 2947). Via dorar.net.
10. Jāmiʿ al-Tirmidhī 1021 When a servant’s child dies, Allah asks the angels: did you take the fruit of his heart? What did My servant say? They say: he praised You and said “we belong to Allah and to Him we return”. Allah says: build for My servant a house in Paradise, and call it the House of Praise. Grading: Ḥasan: al-Tirmidhī (ḥasan gharīb); al-Albānī (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Tirmidhī 1021; Ṣaḥīḥ al-Jāmiʿ 795; ḥasan li-ghayrihi in Ṣaḥīḥ al-Targhīb 2012); Ibn Ḥajar (ḥasan). Graded weak by Darussalam (on sunnah.com) and, for its chain in Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 2948, by al-Arnaʾūṭ, who graded it ḥasan in his takhrīj of Riyāḍ al-Ṣāliḥīn 1395. Via dorar.net.
11. Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī 2:389 Ibn al-Mundhir: the scholars agree that a child known to have been born alive, who cried out, is prayed over; such a child is washed and prayed over “without disagreement”. For a baby born without showing life (istihlāl: crying or another sign of life), the scholars differ about the funeral prayer: after four months Aḥmad said it is washed and prayed over; Mālik and the Ḥanafīs said it is not prayed over unless it showed life; al-Shāfiʿī had both views. (This passage concerns the prayer; washing has its own details in each school.)
12. Life Is Temporary, “When a child dies” (Inheriting Islam) The full guide: a miscarriage before about four months, a loss after four months or a stillbirth, a baby who lived even briefly, an older child; washing, shrouding, naming and the janāzah prayer in all four schools; the mother after a loss; paperwork by country.
13. CDC, HEAR HER: “Urgent Maternal Warning Signs and Symptoms” (updated 15 May 2024) “Seek medical care immediately” for: a headache that won’t go away or gets worse; dizziness or fainting; changes in vision; fever of 100.4°F or higher; extreme swelling of hands or face; thoughts about harming yourself or your baby; trouble breathing; chest pain or a fast-beating heart; severe nausea and throwing up; severe belly pain that doesn’t go away; after pregnancy, heavy vaginal bleeding (soaking through one or more pads in an hour), passing clots bigger than an egg or tissue, or bad-smelling discharge; severe swelling, redness or pain of a leg or arm; overwhelming tiredness. These apply during pregnancy “and in the year after delivery”; tell the clinician you were pregnant within the last year.
14. HRSA, National Maternal Mental Health Hotline 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). For anyone pregnant or who has just had a baby: free, confidential, 24/7, in English and Spanish; call, text or chat.
15. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Available 24/7/365, free and confidential; call, text or chat 988. “Take care of a friend, a loved one, or yourself.”
16. Life Is Temporary, “Grief support” Muslim and general grief support, with crisis lines.

Read next

• For mothers: your first forty daysFor the new mother: the rulings of nifās in the four schools, nursing and rest, the warning signs that should not wait, and where to call if your heart grows heavy.